


Flying High ,  Falling  Under

by GoneforLarries



Series: A Dom and A Diabetic [4]
Category: One Direction, One Direction (Band), zayn malik - Fandom
Genre: Aftercare, Bottom Zayn, Butt Plugs, Caning, Diabetes, Diabetic Zayn, Dom/sub, Fluff and Smut, I'm absolute garbage at tagging, I'm so sorry., M/M, NaNoWriMo, Sadomasochism, Top Liam, Way too many pet names, Zayn rides Liam, but like a lot of smut, clothes pins, father forgive me, like actual Type 1 Diabetes, pain play, safe sane and consentual, sub space, zipper
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-17
Updated: 2018-11-17
Packaged: 2019-08-25 01:16:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16651513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GoneforLarries/pseuds/GoneforLarries
Summary: “I’m yours to do with as you please for this evening.” Zayn answered“There’s my clever boy.” Liam smiled proudly and pushed a hand into Zayn’s hair. “I love you, Darlin’. You did so good tonight, I’m so proud of you.”xXxSometimes things go exactly to plan. Sometimes they don't. Life gets messy and there's a lot to figure out when you're doing your best to manage the depths of subspace, the whims of your Dom, and the unexpected throws of a chronic disease.





	Flying High ,  Falling  Under

**Author's Note:**

> So, I'm still alive. I know, surprising, seeing as it's been a hot minute since I've been on here. But, Happy Diabetes awareness month! I had a lot of fun creating this and I really hope you all enjoy a little bit more looking into this specific dynamic. You're truly all wonderful with your patience and encouraging comments throughout my break.

“Green is good, yellow is stop and readjust, red is release and wait for instructions. Purple is if something isn’t right with my bloodsugar. If I’m gagged my safe signal is three snaps, you’ll ungag me and I immediately give you a word and we’ll adjust accordingly. I speak when spoken to and I answer questions with words.  If I go below 3.3 or about 16.7, we stop for the night. And there’s nothing wrong with needing to take a break or stop for the night.”

“Good boy,” Liam purred, “there’s a bucket on the desk and your favourite cane, go get them for me.”

It’s maybe three or four metres away, far enough that Zayn can’t simply reach out and get it. Far enough away that he had to make the decision of standing to get it or crawling. He doesn’t mind either option, he just wished Li had told him one or the other. But tonight is about Liam, about giving himself over completely and allowing him to feel that Zayn’s every move was under his direct control. So he crawled, because it’s a submissive act, because Liam had told him to kneel and hadn’t told him to stand since. He could feel Liam’s gaze on him while he was deciding, Zayn would swear he heard a hum of approval as he fell onto his hands and moved towards the desk.

The bucket, he’d discovered, held clothespins, a sizeable plug and a length of rope. And a cane that was resting against a leg of the desk. That cane held so many memories.It was typically pulled out when Zayn had done something serious or they when Liam was really going to push his bounds. Liam knew he fucking hated it. But he delivered it to his Dom, awkwardly transporting the requested items and falling back into position after presenting them to Liam. He felt a bit like prey being eyed by it’s hunter. His Dom was honest to God just circling him carrying a cane, dragging it across Zayn’s skin and scarring the absolute shit out of him. He did ask for it mind, practically had to convince Liam to hurt him tonight. But he’d be safe, he trusted to be pulled apart by that cane if Liam was the one wielding it.

Zayn didn’t hesitate when he was told to get onto all fours, arse presented. Li was mostly clinical as he worked him up to three fingers. He encouraged Zayn, telling him how pretty his hole was, how easily he was opening up, but never touched him otherwise. Never brushed over his prostate, just stretched him enough and slid the plug in. It was pink, just long enough for the tip to have a constant pressure on all the right spots. It sent a shiver down Zayn’s spine when he kneeled back and presented himself to Liam once it was fitted into place.

“Arms out to your sides, palms up, boy. And I want you quiet.” Liam ordered, the word ‘boy’ instead of ‘Darlin’ meant it would be a long night. His tone suggested they’d be doing some endurance training, “You’re going to hold your arms out as long as you can. And when you’ve decided you can’t do it any longer, you will ask me for permission before you move them a centimetre. Do you understand?”

“Yes, Sir. I understand.”

“Good,” the praise is accented with an alarmingly precise swat to the forearm, it was light but had just enough force to make Zayn startle with it. “Problem, boy?”

“No, Sir. I’m sorry.”

There was a little hum of acknowledgement before Liam went back to circling. Zayn could see him put down the cane from the corner of his eye and pickup up a bucket, the clothes pins clanking against the metal bottom when he shook it.  Zayn knew he was in for a world of hurt with the prospect of a zipper in his future. The thin rope was rested on his shoulders, with each end reaching just below his navel. The skin covering Zayn’s collarbone was the first subjected to the pinch, and every inch below it another pin was placed on his skin. Liam taking a special interest in the pert buds of Zayn’s nipples. The shit-eating grin that came over his face was no surprise as Zayn writhed in pain beneath him.

“Colour?”

It took everything within Zayn to bite out the words ‘Green, Sir,’ and keep his screams of pain in. There were pulsing hot spots of pain over his body, he might actually explode.

“Arms on your head,” the words may have sounded a bit harsh, but they were soft, like honey dripping down, warm and comforting.

But also, fuck. Fuck Liam, he knew the command would require a pull on the clothes pins. The twat fucking knew that, he also knew that Zayn would do it without a second thought. Because that’s how this worked and they both knew it. Zayn would’ve sworn he saw a smile when Liam simply picked up the cane and went on circling him. The swats were unexpected. Every time Zayn settled himself into his skin, every time his mind was silent and then only thing he had to focus on was keeping his hands on his head, interlaced fingers and even breaths, Liam would change the pace or connect his cane to a completely different patch of Zayn’s skin. Something to startle him out of the calm he had created in his mind, Liam was making him work for it. The outside of his legs, the inside of his thighs, Liam folding himself next to the boy and taking special care not to neglect Zayn’s bum from the sting of the wooden dowel. God it felt so good, knowing that Li was enjoying dealing this out to him, and he was readily accepting it. Taking every blow just as prescribed, staying silent just like he’d been told to be. It stopped hurting faster than ever, each hit sending him further into pleasure.

And then there was a blinding pain. And suddenly his chest was touching the floor, something tasted of blood in his mouth and he was screaming. Absolutely screaming. But simultaneously, there was nothing in his head. The tunnels of his mind were pitch black and god, he missed this feeling.

“Such a good boy,” Liam complemented, leaning down and petting along the planes of Zayn’s back.

And, no, he hadn’t been good. His Dom told him to be quiet and still. Not only had he collapsed to the ground, there was no way he was silent. But there was blood in his mouth. Had he been biting his tongue rather than screaming? Good. Liam said good boy. And they don’t lie to each other during scenes. Liam not about his expectations and Zayn not about how his body feels. Good boy. If Liam was calling him good, then he meant it. And that was such a fucking relief. The praise was riding in the crevice of every blood cell, filling every centimetre of his being and his body felt like it was on fire.

“Kneel up for me while you get yourself together, love. You can use your arms, but I want them behind your back when you’ve gotten upright.”

Zayn knew he was slow. He could feel the pressure of Li’s eyes on his every move. Pushing himself up felt like it took hours and required every parcel of strength he had. God he was so far in and he never wanted to leave it.

“Give me a colour, love.”

“I- Erm green. Was, fuck, was I good?”

“Oh, absolutely my boy. I’ve never seen anyone take a zipper being ripped off better. So silent, so obedient. God, my own boy, my Zayn, so precious, so so good.” Liam had his hand tucked under Zayn’s chin, forcing eye contact when he spoke. “I’m so proud of you.”

“Good for you.”

“The best. And it’s all for me.”

God it felt so good. The praise, the quiet in his head, the reassuring weight of Li’s hand, everything.“Such a good boy for me.” Liam smiled, dragging the cane across Zayn’s side and tapping out a few strokes onto his arse. “Quiet, just like I asked. And clever, too. What a clever boy you are, Darlin’. Stand for me.”

He was a bit unsteady on his feet at first, but Li helped him into the desired position. His arse sticking out just a little bit, his knees slightly bent and feet spread just enough to expose the base of the plug in his hole, all the right parts to hit completely on display. After a while Zayn couldn’t feel his arms, but he didn’t think he minded. The only thing he could feel were the thin lines Liam’s cane was marking into his skin and the still pulsing, blunt welts left behind by the zipper. Liam had asked him to hold out as long as he could in the beginning and it had to apply now. Li called him a clever, if he doesn’t feel anything then surely there wasn’t a reason to ask permission to drop. Zayn didn’t dare move a muscle.

There’s a hit to the crease between his thighs and bum. Zayn saw white but stifled the scream that seemed to be clawing its way up the back of his throat.

“So quiet, so good.”

There was a stripe painted across the back of his calf. It felt like fire and ice simultaneously. His gut twisted and he didn’t recognise it before, but Zayn was going to come if he kept getting hit like that.

“What a clever boy.”

There were two strikes in quick succession, right to his hole and Zayn lost it. He actually screamed that time, his throat going horse with it and come splattering in the space in front of him.

“You’ve done well,” Liam complimented, he was gone for a moment and then back at his side. He was rubbing at Zayn’s hole, whether to soothe the pain or make it worse, Zayn wasn’t sure. “You’re shaking, boy. How do you feel?”

That’s a question, Zayn thought passively, he needed to answer. “I, erm, numb.”

“You’re numb?” Liam asked, fear piquing in his body, “your body or your arms?”

“Arms,” Zayn answered quickly, but after considering it, “both?”

Everything was so blurred in his head. He was so confused, why does Liam sound upset with him right now? He didn’t answer out of turn. He spoke because he was spoken to, that was what he was told to do. Li kept telling him he was good, was he not good anymore? Liam never said not to come. Yeah, he was certain he screamed, but there was nothing said about coming. God why was Liam so far away from him?

“Sorry, I’m- Sir, please, I’m sorry,” Zayn offered again.

“You didn’t think it was worth noting, that your arms have gone numb, Zayn? How long?”

“It- Doesn’t hurt. Don’t need to,” why did it feel like Liam was upset with him? “Sorry, Sir. I’m- Sorry, sorry. Like, I don’t know, before- I don’t know, you ripped the zipper and then the cane. A little bit after standing, during the cane. That’s when, maybe? They didn’t hurt, still don’t. Sorry, I’m sorry. Please don’t go. I’ll- I’ll be better, please.”

“I’m not going anywhere, Darlin’. You’re okay, ‘m not angry. I’m right here, my good boy.” Liam’s pushing his arms down then, cooing in his ear when Zayn tried to keep them up and Liam encouraged him to subdue under his touch. “I’m going to test your blood, darlin’. There’s gonna be a prick.”

Liam should’ve known better to take that tone right now. Zayn had followed his directions to the letter. Liam knew how far down he was and of course Zayn wouldn’t be thinking that losing feeling in his arms was a suitable reason to ask to let them rest. Of course he wouldn’t. Zayn had followed his lead into that black whole of pain and in this moment, Liam had let him down.

Zayn was ready for it, he knew about it, but he still jumped when the lancet pierced his skin. He could hear the beep-beep that came from the metre. It meant he was high or low - one extreme or the other - but he hoped it wasn’t enough to make them stop for the night. There was a bandaid secured round his finger and that was odd because he didn’t typically need one, he only put one on after testing when he  just wouldn’t stop bleeding - which means he quite high.

“You’re at 16.1, darlin’,” Liam announced, leaving the metre on the floor for Zayn to see and left again to return with his insulin. There’s conversion math to be done, but Zayn can’t think about it right now, he doesn’t want to at least. “Eight units should be right. On your left arm, yeah?”

Zayn realised his head nodding along, but all the words seem slurred together in his head. He only needed to stay quiet and leave his arms as Liam had put them. He was eager to please, so long as Liam kept telling him he was a good boy, a clever boy, his boy, the man could honestly do anything.

“That was a question, Zayn,”

The tone was harsh enough to pull him out just a bit, the emphasis on ‘question’ twisted in his gut and he wanted to fix it. “Sorry, God, I’m sorry. Yes, sir. Eight units, left arm.”

There was a hum from Liam and he went through the steps before plunging the needle in. Zayn groaned with it piercing his skin. The sting of the needle accompanied with the burn that he felt as the insulin filtered into his body, it felt like fire tracing a line inside of him. Something was touching his face then, soft and kind, not quite the slap he was expecting. And then he heard Liam speaking, didn’t know what was being said, the words are soft at first, but Zayn can hear something in them. They’re not words of encouragement, they’re not words of pride. No, they’re iced over, panicked, maybe pleading. But he’s so, so far away and he just can’t find his way back. God, it’s like he’s in a corridor with too many doors to choose from.

“I need you to come back for a bit, Zayn. You’re flying too low, come up, Darlin’.”

“Sir?”

“You’re okay, love. You’re just too high right now, darlin’. I don’t think you should be this far down. I need you to come up to me a bit.”

And god, the words Liam was speaking, there’s nothing to equate them to. He was so confused, there wasn’t anything grounding him except the hand that Liam had on his shoulder and the words that he spoke. He’s been told he’s too high, to come down, but he’s also being told to come up. It’s almost like they’re guiding him back but he can’t understand where he’s supposed to go, god why couldn’t he figure out where he was?

“No, this- I was supposed to be good for you. You were supposed to hurt me tonight.”

“No. You are mine tonight to do with as I please. Do you understand?”

“I- Yes. Yes, Sir.”

“And I like to keep my things functioning long-term.”

“Yes, Sir,” Zayn had said it with a laugh and Liam appreciates that he applied humour to it.

“Good, I’m glad you understand.” Liam offered, “your blood sugar is pretty high. Do you want to continue or are you done for the night.”

“It’s not too high.”

“Okay. Do you need a toilet?”

“No, Sir.”

“There’s a bottle of water on the desk. Get it and join me on the bed.”

Directions, those are good. Zayn understood clear directions at the moment. He’s come back enough that he remembers his rules, he can navigate their bedroom again, too. Once back on the bed he waited at the foot until Liam motioned to the space between his legs.

“Good boy. I want you to finish it in the next ten minutes. Understood?”

“Yes, Sir. Thank you.”

“I’m going to test your blood again in twenty minutes. If you’re trending down at all then we’ll continue with the evening. But if you’re still going up, we need to stop. Understood.”

Zayn wasn’t exactly happy with the announcement, but somewhere in him he understood that it was necessary. His body had gone through a lot in the past two hours, and it would do Zayn a lot of good if he got a handle on his blood sugar before he went to bed. But they had agreed on 16.7 as a cut off, and if Zayn doesn’t get to bend their rules when he wanted to, then Liam doesn't get to either.

“We agreed to 16.7, Sir.”

“We did, as an end-all-be-all. But eight units of insulin and a bottle of water should do something for you within the space of twenty minutes. I just want to see you’ve trended down, even if it’s a tenth of a point, we can continue. Is that understood?”

“I am yours to do with as you see fit tonight, Sir.”

“Don’t you forget it, boy.”  

Liam accented his remark by pointing down to the kneeling pillow beside the bed. Zayn didn’t need further clarification as to where he belonged in the moment. He glanced at the clock, making sure not to take longer than his allotted ten minutes to finish the bottle. At least Liam allowed him the comfort of a hand in his hair as he settled on his knees and found a way to nudge himself completely back into the right mindset. Balance had been restored. He was pulling himself back under, but just below the radar instead of being so deep. He was in that floaty space where he wasn’t afraid to take on the world so long as Liam kept his fingers intertwined in hair.

“Sir, I’m done.” Zayn announced after a few minutes, holding up the empty bottle as proof.

“You’ve thirteen minutes until I check your blood again and I want you to show off.” Liam moved his body to align his hips at the edge of the bed, facing Zayn. “Use that beautiful little mouth of yours, remind me how good it is. I don’t want to come, that’s for later. Understood?.”

“Yes, Liam.”

Zayn was happy to get to it. He was good at giving Liam head, and he knew it. He knew when a kitten lick to his head would set Li off and when it would make him grow frustrated and impatient. It didn’t seem that Liam wanted to be frustrated or denied, more like entertained. So after Zayn opened up his throat a bit, he took Liam all the way down and held on as long as he could manage before he pulled back. It wasn’t ideal to be forbayed to drag Liam to an orgasm, he was good at it and he knew how to do it in just over five minutes if it was asked of him. But Liam wanted to enjoy it, savor the moment and focus on the feeling of it all. Coming didn’t always have to be the goal.

Zayn had pulled Liam’s balls into his mouth while using his hand on the length, he’d kissed up and down his thighs and his lower stomach. He put on a show, looking up at Liam and taking pleasure in the shutter Liam gave when he moaned round him. Zayn didn’t know if it was the length, or the girth, or the taste, or the satisfaction he got from sucking Liam’s cock, but he loved it. He loved the way it felt to swallow round him and know how good he was making his Dom feel. He loved that he always seemed to blow past Liam’s expectations of him. He loved pleasing Liam. Zayn was about to ask if he was allowed to add finger to his hole when Liam pulled him off the cock and encouraged to sit back on his haunches.

“You did well, Darlin’. Felt so good.”

It wasn’t a question, and Zayn didn’t know if he was still only to speak when spoken to. He figured erring of the side of caution was probably best considering his previous backchat. Zayn offered up his left hand, pinky finger extended when he heard Liam setting up his meter. Liam took the pro-offered finger to prick and feed blood into the strip. The five seconds weren’t tense and they ended with a beep, Liam was cooing at him and telling him he was good, a good boy, his prefect boy.

“You’re at 14.9, Darlin’. That’s good.”

“Thank you, Sir.”

“And even if you hadn’t come down, you’d still be good.”

“Because there’s nothing wrong with stopping, for any reason.”

“That’s my clever boy.” Liam praised as he laid down in the middle of the bed. “I want you to finish me off. Mouth, hands, arse, toy. Make it good for me.”

There was a world of possibilities here, and selfishly, Zayn wanted to feel Liam come in his arse. He’d been wearing a plug for most of the evening and it wouldn’t take more than a few minutes to stretch himself out enough to take Li’s cock. Zayn would be sensitive, though. But he knew how to ride Liam without constantly catching his prostate, but Liam would probably enjoy it more if he was stuffed in his throat rather than his arse, nothing to avoid that way. There’s nothing besides Liam’s direct order that would even let Zayn imagine finishing him off with a toy. There’s no need to take that pleasure away from them both. Even if it may be a little uncomfortable, a little too much, at least Zayn would be able to sit on Liam if he was fucked. He’d get to see how fucked out Liam looked, he’d get to stare down and see him, he’d get to spend some time on his knees worshiping the shrine of Liam’s body, even if he were on top of it. No, he wouldn’t waste the opportunity to look into Liam’s eyes as he rode his cock.

“I’d like to ride you, Sir. I’m already stretched from this plug, it’d be a shame to put your work to waste.”

“A proper shame it would be. No condom.”

Zayn didn’t wait for instructions following that.He found the earlier abandoned lube that was on the floor and squeezed a some onto a finger to work round the base of the plug before he slipped it out. He slicked up a third finger to give himself a final stretch before coating Liam’s cock and shuffling on top of him. He leaned down for a kiss first, starting on Li’s neck and kissing hotly up to his mouth. He was considering the benefits of bottoming out in one go as opposed to sinking down gently when Li grabbed hold of his hips and pulled him down. It’s been a while since that kind of force was applied, and Zayn couldn’t help but let out a strangled noise at the shock of it.

Liam took the opportunity to press into the welts on his torso, making Zayn groan with pain. He’d be playing with those for the rest of the night, no doubt. Even still, almost an hour after he’d caused them, Zayn was still so sensitive when he pinched and pulled on them. But they both loved the reminder, Liam was sure. The first thrust was sudden, but it was good. All the sensations slipped away except for a solid, full feeling that he had been chasing for ages. God he loved getting to ride Li. The grind of his hips, the way he got to pick the rhythm for the most part. The way that Liam looked up at him, with wonder and pride and sexy eyes that could probably kill a man. He loved getting to look down at the man, sitting on his cock and knowing that this was all for him: he was the only one that got to see this side of him, the only one that got to hurt him, the only one that got to take him out of his head. And in return, Zayn was that person for Liam.

Zayn started moving quickly. Rounding his hips in a circle before rucking back and forth. Li was moaning beneath him and Zayn was proud. It was probably stupid, to look down at Liam feel a sense of pride because he’d done that. He’d been the reason Li was trying to match his thrust with the upstroke of Zayn’s movements. He was the reason that Liam had enjoyed his evening. He was the reason for it all. And odd or not, he was proud of it.  

Suddenly, there was a vice like grip round his cock and balls, Liam clenching them in his fist and holding Zayn tight in the crevice of his hips. “This is about me getting off, not you. If you need a cock right to keep yourself from coming, I’d highly suggest you find one.”

“I’ve had my turn, Sir. I won’t be greedy.” If the pool of precome sitting on Liam’s stomach was anything to go by, Zayn would be coming soon. But without something on his cock, there’s no way he would be able to come that way for a second time that night.

“Good then, because I’d hate to stop this. You feel amazing.”

Liam abandoned his cock then and took hold of his hips. Zayn was prepared for what was to come next. Li found more solid footing on the bed, and he did his best to pull himself up a few centimeters into more of a squatting position. The grip on Zayn’s hips was fierce, there would be marks there to linger for a few days, but the litany of curses and harsh grunts Liam let out made it entirely worth it. There wasn’t a place for Zayn to escape, no way to avoid the punishing pace, nowhere to store the moans of pleasure - and the occasional ones of discomfort.

Soon after Liam was done coming, Zayn had started his hips again, chasing after his own release. He shouldn’t have assumed he had earned another orgasm, most assuredly because Liam had stopped him earlier and specifically told him he was not to come. Zayn knew full well that he shouldn’t assume anything when it comes to Li. The fingernail driving harshly into his slit was a stark contrast from the pleasure he was getting from rocking back and forth on Liam’s cock, grazing his prostate with every forward sway. The slicing pain was enough to stun Zayn's entire body into frozen, measured breaths. Liam pulled him forward by a light tug on his shoulder, distracted him with a bruising kiss to his lips and and eased himself out of the lad while Zayn was melting into his chest. The whine that Zayn let out was embarrassingly high and Liam wasn’t exactly sure it was intentional.

“You’re not coming again tonight, the end. I suggest you understand that soon or I’m going to start getting irritated, boy.”

“Yes, Sir. I’m sorry.”

“And why don’t you get to come again tonight?”

“Because I already came and I shouldn’t be greedy.”

“Hmmm, try again, Darlin’.” Liam probed.

God, why did Liam have to do this. Is he not allowed to just sit in the afterglow and frustration without being pressed? “Because I take what I’m given and shouldn’t complain about it?”

“Closer, love. What have we been focusing on today?”

“I shouldn’t question what you decided to use me for?”

Liam smiled, Zayn was trying his best. Even after he’d been fucked to the brink of an orgasm and denied terribly, Zayn was wracking his brain to please his Dom. Some things never ceased to amaze Liam. “What are you to me, tonight specifically?”

“I’m yours to do with as you please for this evening.”

“There’s my clever boy.” Liam smiled proudly and pushed a hand into Zayn’s hair. “I love you, Darlin’. You did so good tonight, I’m so proud of you.”

“Thank you, Sir.”

“Tell me, other than coming, what would you like to do?”

Zayn shrugged in response. He really didn’t know what he wanted. Every cell in his body just wanted to come again. He knew he looked lost. Liam was being that combination of gentle yet strict that only ever happened when Zayn was fucked over and looked something like a caged animal that knew he was meant to be wild. He felt like all of his nerve endings were raw, yet at his centre it was so peaceful. He didn’t know what he needed from Liam other than a release.

“Let's get you a plug, huh? Something to bridge the gap between full of me cock and empty. Stay here on the bed, I’ll be right back.”

“Thank you, Sir.”

Liam gave a tight lipped smile and Zayn didn’t know what to make of it. Was he asking for too much? He didn’t ask for anything though, Liam offered it. Could it be that Liam wanted him to come back to himself already? They were done. Liam came, and forbade Zayn from coming. The scene had ended. Had the scene ended? Were they still in the middle of it, or was this the aftercare. Zayn shouldn’t still feel this far under. He shouldn’t need Liam putting a plug in to pull him out of this, he shouldn’t-

“Oh no no, my darlin’. You’re okay.” It was Liam, rubbing his hands up and down Zayn’s shoulders, whispering into his ear. “You did so great. I’m so proud of you.”

“Didn’t answer,” Zayn mumbled. “You asked me a question and I didn’t answer. I speak when spoken to and I answer all of your questions verbally.”

“You do when we’re in a scene, that’s right. But the scene is over. You did such a good job tonight. I was really hard on you, and I left you teetering on the edge and I’m so proud of you for taking it all. I want you to say it outloud, okay? Let me hear you.”

“I did well tonight, I- I was good. Clever, you said I was clever. And quiet.”

“Oh you were, Darlin’. So, so clever. You were so good. And I’ve got some plans for you right now. Do you want to hear them?”

“Please.” Zayn’s eyes were glazed over. He was still under and Liam wanted to bring him up gradually.

“I’ve got a nice little plug for you. It won’t reach your prostate, I won’t tease you anymore tonight, it’ll just be something to ground you, to focus on a physical feeling instead of how lost you are in your head. And then I’m gonna clean you up a little, I’ve got a nice warm cloth. And some chocolate, the really crappy kind that way too much sugar but is so, so good. And while you eat your chocolate, I’m gonna rub some lotion onto you. All the red bits. And here’s the important part. Are you ready Darlin’?”

“Mhmm,” Zayn’s eyes had slipped shut as Li was soothing him. “‘M listening.”

“Good, good boy. You’re gonna tell me if you want anything. If ‘m going too fast or too slow. We can take out the plug at any time. Or if there’s anything you can think of that you want, you tell me and I’ll do my best, yeah? We don’t have to do all of those if you don’t want to. Or we can add to it, whatever you’re feeling up for.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re very welcome, Darlin’.”   

Liam laid him down gently, rolling him onto his stomach and encouraging him to lift his arse just a little bit. The plug he had was smaller than anything they’ve used tonight. Liam just wanted to ground him on something physical. Give him something that wouldn’t tease him, but something so he wouldn’t go insane with how empty he was after being filled all night. Liam did his best to warm the lube before he poured a good amount inside. He gave him two fingers for a few moments, just to feel how stretched out he was before inserting the plug. Zayn sighed with relief when it was finally in.

After Li had pet over his back a few times, Z turned over onto his side. Recovery position was comfortable, and that way Liam would have unrestricted access to his body should he ask for it. He walked away for a moment, and Zayn tried to ignore the ach in his chest that accompanied it - it was only the drop, Li was coming back. Zayn’s patience was rewarded with chocolate and a bottle of water, though, and he could hear Li opening up the tub that kept the soothing cream. His hands felt like absolute magic. They leave a trail of goose pimples down the planes of his back and around the curve of his shoulders. Liam was asking him to take a sip of water every so often, reminding him the chocolate is there if he’d like a bit. There was a little spark inside of Zayn, an annoyance that Liam was asking him to eat the chocolate when he was already so high. The rational part of Zayn understood that it wasn’t intentional, he wasn’t intending on increasing his number or putting him in a difficult spot. He didn’t intend to make Zayn feel as though he had to choose between his health and something to pillow the drop. It just wasn’t something Liam had to think about, it’s not programmed into his actions.

“No chocolate,” Zayn answered after another reminder.

The anger only intensified when Liam stopped rubbing lotion into his calf. The movements stilled as soon as the words left his mouth, Zayn could imagine the shock that rode across Liam’s face.

“Darlin’?”

“I’m too high,”

“You’ve come down a bit, love. You can have some chocolate if you want it.”

“Not down enough, Liam.” Zayn pulled his legs up and away from Liam, frustrated and irritated. “14.9 isn’t down enough, you’ve told me all night I’m too high and now you’re pushing me up. No chocolate.”

And Liam hadn’t even thought about that. Zayn was exactly right, trying to keep his number down after he’d been told for at least an hour that he’s too high. He didn’t mean to contradict himself, and he definitely didn’t mean to put Zayn in such a space. He reached for Zayn’s flank then, a hand resting softly on his side.

“I’m sorry love, you’re right. We’ve got some nuts in the night stand. Would you prefer those? Or- I’ll leave you alone about the food for a little while. If you want absolutely anything to eat, let me know, but I won’t ask you to eat anything for another hour.”

“Just not hungry.” Zayn answered, allowing his legs to fall back to where Liam was massaging them and offering nothing more.

“That’s okay, Darlin’.”

Liam went back to rubbing lotion in, then. Pressing lightly into bruises to make sure they didn’t hurt his boy more than they should and then soothing them with the cool lotion. He took the time to coat all of his skin. Even if the lotion wouldn’t strictly help the marks, Liam wanted to touch all of Zayn’s skin. All of the bits that he had the pleasure of hurting deserved the tenderness of gentle touch, and Liam would argue that there’s benefits to all the touching. A gentler drop, Zayn knowing that Liam worshiped every last bit of skin on his body, and an intimacy that comes with Zayn trusting him enough to doze in and out throughout the process.

“Li?” Zayn asked suddenly, his voice sounding sharp and more present than it did only a few minutes ago.

“Yes, Darlin’,”

“I think I’d like the plug out. If that’s alright?”

“Course it is, love. Do you want me to take it out, or would you prefer to do it yourself?”

“Oh, I can if you don’t want to, I’m so--”

“I don’t ‘ave a preference, love,” Liam interrupted, soothing a hand across his shoulder, “just wanted to give you the option. You pick, however you want.”

“You, please.”

‘Okay. Roll for me, yeah?”

Zayn always seemed to need a little longer to establish personal boundaries when they’d had a tough scene. It wasn’t to his benefit or detriment, but Liam liked to make a point of addressing that he was in control of his body now. Earlier it was Liam’s, to do with as he pleased; but it had since been transferred back. As much as Liam didn’t mind taking out the plug, or giving him a bath, or plying him with chocolate and touches, it’s important that Zayn knew that he had complete and utter control of it. It was important to provide that support afterwards for the both of them. Zayn needed a little help to bridge the transition sometimes, and Li needed the comfort in knowing that he hadn’t been reckless when he took the lad apart. It made the drop easier for the two of them alike.

An hour later, Liam managed to pull them out of bed and downstairs to the kitchen. Zayn had settled back into himself, enough to excuse himself to the loo and request Li allow him to take a blanket off of himself because he was sweating up a storm. Zayn was down to a 9.4 when he tested again and they settled ending the evening munching on popcorn and trail mix while watching telly for a few rounds of ‘Wheel of Fortune’. It had gone 1am by the time they finally turned in for the night, but they had the weekend to sleep in and be lazy. What was the point of wasting an opportunity like that?

**Author's Note:**

> I so hope you enjoyed this monstrosity. Thank you for the reads. If you enjoyed it, I encourage you to hit that kudos button, a comment would be REALLY lovely as well! Hit me up with any of that lovely constructive criticism or reactions to it! I'm really not joking, the love and encouragement I get from your comments breathe life back into my body. All my love, xx.


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